1 JULY 2001

The inner voice said, "Come at 2 p.m., you will get a surprise"... Canteen Avenue was packed with people as I moved toward the Mandir. I stop reading at quarter to three. I wait for Swami to come out. So-hum, no luck at stillness. Music starts, the man beside me gets up on his haunches and leans on me to see Swami. I turned and said, "Get down, there are men behind you!"...and ahhhh, I had taken my attention and my vision from Swami! How could I do that? At that point, I put the man out of my mind and let him lean. I was here to take the Darshan of Swami, no matter what any other did.

Swami moves slowly through the women’s lines, taking many, many letters. He stops frequently to talk. Hands go up in pranaams as He crosses over to the men’s side. I am much closer to the front now; I observe Swami closely as He talks with some men. His head moves in that little nod, His whole expression rises as He speaks, His visage takes on a most open and inviting aspect. It is difficult to communicate this, it is almost as if His eyes sparkle, He opens up who He is somehow His eyes, eyebrows, face, lips and expression seem to transform to intimate friend who is really, interested in what you have to say, and replies to you with frankness and ingenuity.

He moves on a little and turns to face the sea of men in the hall. A half smile comes to His lips as He raises His hand palm upwards, and raises it little by little, as if He is lifting us all up by His Love and Grace.

He turns and moves on. The music plays a repetitive raga (tune) that seems most appropriate as He stops to take letters. Moving up toward the garage, I again begin to feel a vibration and see first, a golden colour around Him, then a light blue. It is brief, flashing, gone. Swami reaches the top of the path and turns the corner. He pauses and takes many, many letters.

Interviews proceed. I abandon Hamsa Gayathri, focus on Swami’s form instead and begin to repeat His name. I was surprised this morning, when I observed that my mind automatically started up the Hamsa Gayathri as I walked into the Sai Kulwanth Hall. I continued to take His name and visualize His form. Distractions. "How do I do this," I thought. "Seek Me in your heart," came the answer.

Walking the Ashram at night. Devotees slip off their sandals and say silent prayers outside the Poornachandra Auditorium where Bhagawan lives. Crowds around the water fountains. Lines in front of the Himachal Pradesh Apple Juice stall. Shamianas erected between West 4 and West 5 for temporary bookstalls. Ashram dogs prance playfully while devotees sit around the lawn in front of the roundhouses, savouring the evening sweetness. Darkness has descended. Buses move slowly with twin headlights piercing like huge torch beams through the throng in Canteen Avenue.

Sweet smell of bread coming from the bakery. I sneak across the side of the closed bookshop and encounter the Sita-Ram shrine, at the rear of the Sai Kulwanth Hall. A sweet little Hanuman kneels with hands joined in prayer as searchlights softly illuminate Lakshmana, Rama, Sita. An Indian woman moves forward to toss a garland over the fence expertly. Moving up the side of the hall, I look inside and see many people inside at work on scaffolds and ladders, adding decoration upon decoration. Aha, I am going to come in early, tomorrow.

2 JULY 2001
morning

I arrive as the women commence Nagarsankirtana, beginning from the Ganesha Temple. We cannot move; then men arrive and queue before the Ganesha Temple. With a loud vibrant chant they commence "Jai Jai Jai Jai Ganapathi Deva" and commence their walking and singing; the vibrations purifies the atmosphere. I go up the hill once again and join lines. I am only there one minute, and we start moving.

Going down the side of the Sai Kulwanth Hall, I notice banana leaves tied to the gates. I also see a large expanse of empty spaces at the front on the men’s’ side. In the centre of the Darshan Hall, there are some "clouds" suspended from the sky ceiling that have ‘Be good, see good, do good’ and similar aphorisms decorated on them.

Pennant flags hang from pillar to pillar and diamond shaped boards with spiritual motifs hang on all the fences. It is a gaily-decorated Mandir today. In the very is a simple painting of Kabir, on a plain yellow background. I learn that today is Ashadi Ekadashi, a celebration of Sant Kabir.

6.45. Swami comes out. Takes no letters. Walks very very slowly, step by step. Occasional hand movements. I see Him very briefly through the cracks in the fence on the women’s side. Crosses to the men’s side. Moves slowly. I see East Prasanthi building has many women upstairs on the balconies. (Very old devotees from the 1960’s and 70’s era live in this building). All the Darshan Hall lights are on, every chandelier illuminated and dropping light onto Swami as He moves. He goes on toward the gate which is promptly opened. Swami sails right out into the East Prasanthi Avenue and gives Darshan to all the devotees trapped outside the hall. He remains there for several minutes. He returns to the hall and takes His seat.

Devotees from Maharashtra wearing their distinctive Nehru caps enter with music and song. Children assemble and floats come into the hall. A presentation of human values consisting of song, dance, discourse and acting commences. It goes for nearly an hour. It is a mastery of co-ordination and choreography. Swami sits in His chair and watches. Occasionally pats His lips with a kerchief. Tilts His head, finger on cheek, watching. Presentation ends with three times Sai Gayathri. Swami gives double-handed Abhayahasta, hands out prasadam to the children and grants Padanamaskar.

Students run inside the Mandir and emerge with prasadam, which is distributed to all devotees. Bhajans commence.

Chris Parnell, author on spirituality and moderator of Sai e-groups